Sunday, July 2, 2017


Again and Again

The term "finding yourself" seems like a total BS to me, I like it better as "getting to know yourself". We are constantly changing, every second, and I don't really see that as a bad thing. Obviously I'm still in the process of learning and getting to know myself a lot more and to think that I would be a totally different person by next year is something both exciting and scary at the same time. I don't exactly believe in astrology and all however I do enjoy reading about traits and personalities that comes to being a Cancer-Leo cusp that I am.

This thing about "cusp" is in fact a rather new thing that I learned from a friend of mine about two months ago. Turns out because my birthdate is on the 19th of July, which is on the last few days of Cancer, really near to being a Leo, I am in fact in between those two and the term for it is cusp. Basically you have two signs ruling over you, and right after I knew that everything made so much more sense, which I've always thought myself as a Cancer however somehow the things I've read about being a Cancer is usually written as an introverted, overly-sensitive, and shy person which I know for a fact I am not. Sasya told me about this website, in which if you look up my birthdate, everything that is written on that page is 100% accurate. To cut short, "Those born on the 19th of the month are ruled by the number 1 (1+9=10, 1+0=1), and by the Sun. Because of the fact that July 19 people are born on the first day of the Cancer-Leo cusp, which is strongly influenced by both the Moon (Cancer) and the Sun (Leo), there are inevitable conflicts between more extroverted Sun and Number 1 influences and inward Moon influences, with the active Sun influences usually predominating. Those ruled by the number 1 tend to be ambitious and dislike restraint."

"These individuals are in a position to leave their mark on the world permanently. However, it is important for them to realize that their life is not about fame or riches but about making the world a better place. Symbolically, a kind of sacrifice is called for here. They give up some of their freedom and ethereal ways for the greater good of humankind, or even just for their families, by allowing themselves to be tied down to routines, schedules, and deadlines. By so allowing themselves to be limited, they are performing a service. The writer who sits down day after day gives pleasure to the reader; the scientist who spends hours in the laboratory testing hypotheses gives mankind the benefit of greater knowledge; and the artist who gropes within himself for higher ideals and studies his craft to ground abstraction in something the viewer can see or hear gives us understanding and inspiration. As they progress, these people will truly embody the individual complete unto themselves. They will not only experience the satisfaction of giving their ideas and visions form, but they will also find deep fulfillment and a sense of completion within themselves."

"They have a dynamic side that can put them in situations of risk-taking and danger. They generally crave excitement; whether in business, romance or free time, they need to meet challenges dauntlessly. Their calm under fire, their moral courage and their decision-making potential usually stand them in good stead in crises and emergencies, but their drive toward challenge periodically gets out of control. At work this can manifest as megalomania, or the desire to take on the world. In their leisure time, primarily driven by an unconscious drive for near-death experience, they may seek out activities like hang-gliding, riverrafting or mountainclimbing. They may also sublimate these extreme impulses into a hyperactive fantasy life that can only be satiated through action movies, adventure novels or video games, often in excessive quantity."

Change is inevitable, we are never constant. How fun it would be if I were to meet my past selves and get to know them, and I would say to myself that I still have a lot to experience and things to do in the future, and most importantly do not ever get caught up in the present as it is going to pass in a blink of an eye. I found a new version of my self and the fact that I feel so free about it is very strange. Have not felt like this ever, trust me, ever. I'm talking about how different and crazy to see how much I have changed in terms of how I think to even how I dress. I have become much more open, eager to learn new things and let the colors and sunshine of the world soak into my skin.

Anyway, this post has been the hundredth post in which I said I was going to write a lot more and post a lot more in here, since that urge comes and goes. My mojo doesn't quite stay for a long time, which is a problem, but I am somewhat determined to actually start blogging again cause of my love for writing, sharing, and being creative. Lots of ideas for content are already listed in my bullet journal, so the problem is that I just need to actually do them. Tons of things and ideas cross my mind each day, and I do have my own private journal but that means I won't get to share them with the world. I do hope this is the last post I will ever write about starting over, and I'll actually really start.

Friday, January 20, 2017


The last time I posted was two years ago and I could probably write a book about all the things that has happened on the span of that two surprisingly short years. Is it just me or when you look at a year in overview it seemed like it was just a little hiccup but you do actually remember each and every little precious moments that you have encountered if you look closely? That's what I felt. And I also did not post a single thing literally for the whole of 2016. There was Bali and music festivals and impromptu date nights with G and amazing things that would have been great to write about here. I could probably say 2016 was kinda the best year of my life, lots of adventures, a massive amount of time spent laughing, loved a lot, and spent the entire year being surrounded by the people that I would do anything for.

And so I woke up today and told Mimi about how much I was obsessing over the Korean 10-step skincare routine which was entirely Rara and Hira's fault. I told her I got Kayla and Luna into it and then she told me why didn't I write a blog post about it to share with the others out there and it suddenly occurred to me that I knew that I have been wanting to start blogging again but I have always managed to find excuses to do so.

Okay, let's do this again. This is me, Dhira. I'm now nineteen and this is my last year of being an adolescence. Wanting to start blogging again for me to look back to, treasure my adventures and memories, sharing with others, and inspiring others. It's 2:51 PM and I'm eating the DairyQueen triple cheese dog for my late lunch. 100% sure nobody reads this blog anymore but, welcome back!

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Last Days of High School

Getting closer to the national exam, which is literally TOMORROW ha. After that, then I'm basically done, but my graduation's in June. It's crazy how time flies, I know it sounds cliché but there's no denying it, it does. I've spent two years of kindergarten, six years of elementary, three years of middle school, and three years of high school all in the same school. So you could probably can imagine how sad I am about leaving, well I'm happy and excited about college, but deep down I just kinda want to pause everything and just live the moment, the last moments with the people who've been practically growing up with me since fourteen years ago when we were really tiny up until now, about to go on different paths. Didn't mean to write this post the sad-ish type though but just couldn't help it. I really dread my graduation cause for sure I'd be bawling my eyes out and trying to hug as many as people as I can. I mean of course I'd still get to see them after we graduated, but it'll be so much different. Everyday I wake up, go to school, meet all of the people I've been laughing with everyday of my life, go home, sleep. (I did purposely excluded study HA). We'll get busy, we'll have different schedules, we'll have different friends, different universities, different everything. What's hard for me is that I find such an unexplainable comfort in all of the loving people around me right now, and I guess those people really do bring out the best in me as a person, and i just feel like everything is perfectly okay when I'm with them. Knowing that I won't be seeing them daily in a few months kind of scares me but at the same time excited for them finally getting a step closer to their dreams. 

I'm actually not gonna be moving city-wise, because my future university is right here in Jakarta, and I've actually have been accepted late last year. I'm taking Graphic Design and New Media in a double-degree program, which means hopefully I'll be leaving to the United Kingdom, specifically in Newcastle upon Tyne, in my last year. But I'll be here for the next three years, along with some of my friends who's planning to go colleges that's in town as well. Have to admit kinda, well, really sad about knowing that I won't be seeing the best people in my life as much as I am now but as I've said before, I'm really happy for them and I'll be supporting them no matter what.

Gonna leave for Bali for seven days in about a week with my friends which is probably the last trip before going off to college. Really really really excited for the trip! I've even have kinda packed some of my clothes and all just because I'm really looking forward to the trip and want to get those exams over with already. After Bali then we'd be free, well I'd be free, since I've got into a university already and some of my friends are still gonna be studying for tests to get into different universities. My plan is I'm gonna finish up my first ever apparel collection of DEAR and work on NurZahra for a bit. Then prom's on the 20th of May, which is about a month from now. Then as I said before, graduation's in June, which is only two months away. Anyway here's some pictures of the last days of high school!

Definitely the best three years of my life so far. 

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Current Obsession: August 2014

Clockwise from left: Vlieger Vandam Clutch, Topshop Flower Bird Jacquard Kimono, Charlotte Tilbury Beach Stick in Formentera, MAC Lipstick in Yung Rapunxel, Miista Patti Black Sandal, Well-Rounded Shades by Nastygal.